Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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