If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
