I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
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you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
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Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.