I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
