I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Randomize
