Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He felt like a one man threesome
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
