Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
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underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sorry about my life...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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