being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
