So drunk, too bad you don't want this
where am i from again
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
