It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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