dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
