His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
