Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
