You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
