Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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