The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
