I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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