Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
