She is in my trunk
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
