We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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