I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize