i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
