I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
