shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
