just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
