So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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