I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
MIDGETS
????
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
