its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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