Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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