I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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