i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
God, I missed his penis.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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