and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nutella sex= disaster
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
