im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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