yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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