I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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