he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
