hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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