I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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