Who wears a wallet chain?!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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