Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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