So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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