Kiss
Puke
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
