mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
