I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
