It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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