thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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