i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
