if you like me you must not know who I am
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Terrible idea I love it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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