The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
