I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
