i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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