I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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