at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
