in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize