eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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