This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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