and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
