Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
