Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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