She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
